Greetings from Parker

August 11, 2010

Hi all.

I’m Parker Euton. You can read a little about me in the “contributors” page. I guess I should say up front that I was invited to write for this important project because of my liturgical aptitude, spiritual fortitude, masculine sensibility, and cultural savvy. I’m a Traditional, Orthodox Roman Catholic, and I pray the Holy Mass in a wreckovated Vatican 2 church with my Latin Mass community every 1st and 3rd Sunday at 8:05 A.M. (It really upset the liberal catholycs when we were given this coveted time slot.)

My job here is to keep you informed about important liturgical, spiritual, and cultural news and ideas. I can’t wait, guys.

JMJ,

Parker

(By and by… does anyone know of any good CATHOLIC resources for re-attaching one’s foreskin? I’m a convert, and my heretical Protestant mother didn’t know any better.)

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11 Responses to “Greetings from Parker”

  1. Pelayo Zaragosa said

    Well, as my grandfather said (in Spanish, but let’s not talk about that), duct tapes and bailing wire’ll fix anything. In this case, I think your best bet is a hot glue gun.

  2. Parker, A cousin of mine has an entire three-ring binder filled with information on that procedure. Some of it might be a bit dated, but I can try to track it down for you. Maybe we can scan it into a computer to share online.

  3. Dave Lister said

    Do you really want to do so? Seems like it might be anti-Semite to try. Israel is our ally in the world!

  4. parkereuton said

    A naked glans is part of the Jew-Masonic conspiracy, duh.

  5. Dave Lister said

    But The Wave of the Future is a strong American-Israeli alliance as we eliminate the problems of the world. The liberal anti-God folk will take care of themselves. The Muslims need a nice kick in the behind from Israel. Turn Mecca into glass — and so it shall be, as I demonstrated in The Wave of the Future.

  6. joepantsonfire said

    I love the traditional Latin Mass, as prayed at the last supper. The disgusting abuses that came from Vatican 2 make me so angry. Oh man, I’m getting angry ahead. It’s all the fault of Phoney Boney Mahoney, Christoph Shown-Porn, Weenie Martini and those commie pinko jerks in the European church who have made an unholy alliance with socialists and jihadists.

  7. realRCman said

    Right on, Joe! My family drives 50 miles round trip to attend the TLM every Sunday. That’s the True Mass. We don’t use missals, because the power of the Latin Mass makes us holy! The new Mass is infected with Masons, beatnicks, and that evil satanic folk music! Real men go to a Mass where there’s lots of lace and brocade. That’s old time religion!

  8. Mary said

    Thanks for the RC demonstration of “Love thy neighbor… ”
    When He asks you about it, what are you going to tell Him?

  9. parkereuton said

    I’ll tell Him I got my foreskin back! Deo Gratias!!!

  10. Pelayo Zaragosa said

    Mary:

    “Love” has been coopted by the socialists for their filthy, socialist purposes. You should read the American Catholic blog, since they explain this really well. They have turned love and compassion into PC, feminazi, socialist, Obamacare-style emotion. We need real men who have no such compassion but are rugged individuals, like John Wayne in his movies (especially when he is killing Injuns). If I love my neighbor, that’s my business. If I want to kick him into the gutter so that he doesn’t starve to death on my lawn, that is my God-given right as a red-blooded American. “Love thy neighbor”? What a bunch of socialist nonsense! The market can take care of my neighbor.

  11. Mary said

    Oh dear, I think it’s time for me to become a muslim.

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