For all our military religious

August 12, 2010

I love the military. When I was a boy, I joined by local church’s “fightin’ altar boy brigade” (we don’t see this anymore, because of the feminization of the mass, with pc “altar servers”, such hooey). We would meet every Saturday and throw stones at the local Protestant church and get into a good honest bout of manly fisticuffs with the heathens. But they were different times. We’ve had development of doctrine since then which says that Protestants had a lot of things right. Today, if we had fighin’ altar boys, they would throw stones at a mosque, or demonstrate at an abortion clinic, or protest vatican 2 liturgical deviation. Maybe pulling a few of those girls off the altar by the hair wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

When I was old enough, I joined the military to serve our glorious country. After all, didn’t Our Lady of Tallahassee say that the world would only be saved if the American military rooted out all godless evil? I fought in the first world war. I fought again in the second world war, and I got a dispensation to go to Korea. They told me I was too old to go to Vietnam, but I went there anyway as a civilian with my gun, just to do my bit.

In all my years of prayer, I can safely say that nothing approaches the level of religious ecstasy of fighting in a war, especially shooting guns and dropping bombs. It’s a thrill and a grace. And when I think back of the good old days, I remember this ditty we used to sing during Mass:

“The brave young boys with deep blue eyes,
Who just had left their mommies,
Dropped bombs from the tail of a fighter plane,
To obliterate the commies.

With grenades and guns and nuclear bombs,
They fought the fight for freedom,
If they get in the way, we’ll make them pay,
we’ll rip out their guts and bleed’em”.

This song honors the sacrifice of all the brave men and women who killed all sorts of pinkos and commies and assorted foreigners in the cause of America and liberty and against tyranny. They were brave Catholic boys. I’m sure they were being protected by St. Ricardo Razorblade and St. Ian the Impaler, and or course by the patron saint of bomb makers everywhere, St. Stephen Semtex. Good times, everyone. Ok, now I need to take a nap.


2 Responses to “For all our military religious”

  1. Pelayo Zaragosa said

    Don’t forget the filthy Injuns who got in the way of our God-given, red-blooded American right to this land.

  2. We sang that song too, Dan!

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