Cafeteria Catholics?

August 14, 2010

In the combox of a post at The Western Confucian PRAISING The Catholic Fascist, the venerable Mark Shea, a blogger we have nothing but respect for, doesn’t seem to get us, charging:

It scores some funny points against righty cafeteria Catholics. But in the end, it is just another organ of cafeteria Catholicism itself.

We appreciate Shea’s critique and his general concern about “cafeteria Catholicism” which, along with “altar womyn,” represents one of the deepest threats to Male Roman Catholicism. But let us clarify for Shea where we are coming from. We at The Catholic Fascist intend to promote TRUE Catholicism which is out of step with mainstream Catholicism for sure, but also with mere “traditionalist” and “conservative” Catholicism, both of which are far far too liberal. Our audience will likely be small: those who “get it” are the pure Catholic remnant, the “smaller and purer Church” that our (liberal, but getting there) Vicar of Christ has spoken about.

And obviously because we are a minority, we are going to have to bear the charge of “cafeteria Catholicism” from time to time. Thankfully, though, we have pure and wholly consistent Catholics like Mark Shea — true Saints in our midst! — to help show us what “puffed up” Catholics (1 Cor 4:6, 8:1, 13:4) who turn down no food at the cafeteria look like.

Show us the way, Shea!


5 Responses to “Cafeteria Catholics?”

  1. Pelayo Zaragosa said

    Mr. Hedges,

    You, sir, are a modernist, as is Shea. While he will sometimes allow that righteous government to wage war on the brown Muslim heathens for just reasons (redundant?), he opposes our being able to vigorously interogate our prisoners using creative methods (such as putting electrodes to their testicles while standing in a couple inches of water. I don’t see the big deal with this one. I do this just to get up in the morning to blow reveille nice and early. Better than a cup of coffee). He also opposes the use of the Holy Nuclear Bomb, the great salvation that brought the filthy Japs to their knees. They still should be thanking us for that.

    But anyway, he is a true capitalist, and because of that I think there is hope. I mean, there is no length that he won’t go through just to make a buck and beg. He markets himself so well, and sells the Faith like an old saleman slings toxic baby formula to unsuspecting mothers. Because that is what our Faith is about: righteously making a buck (what’s up with my being redundant?) Heck, he sounds like a total jerk on-line: the hallmark of a true, red-blooded, capitalist American, and the religious version of good American talk radio. There’s hope for him yet.

  2. Pelayo – I am no modernist, sir. Take that back, or you will be permanently banned from this site.

    I am aware of Shea’s problematic positions on a few issues. I am giving him the benefit of the doubt, believing that he is simply intending to seduce more mainstream and even lefty Catholics into buying his books. That’s a great idea, if you ask me. But surely he can’t believe that nonsense about torture ALWAYS being wrong. It’s not wrong when the USA does it. He knows this.

  3. Pelayo Zaragosa said

    Mr. Hedges,

    As long as you promise to punch a commie, pinko, Obamacrat priest in his stomach this Sunday and spit in his face, then I’ll take what I said back.

  4. Pelayo, I’d be more likely to find one at a Saturday night “vigil” service at your average parish, I suppose. But that brand of “priest” is harder to come by at the Sunday morning 6:05 AM Traditional Latin Mass at St. Barbara Catholic Shrine at Fort Archer Air Force Base, where I attend. But there is a Jesuit parish across town…

  5. joepantsonfire said

    Yes, I have to disagree with you here, and disagreement makes me angry. Shea is phony catholic. He’s a liberal Mahony-defending America bashing liberal. Look at the big hippie beard on him – hey Shea, the 60s called, they want you back!

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