Call the Basilica with praise and thanksgiving!!

September 14, 2010

FINALLY! A U.S. Catholic Church willing to promote the truth! Morning’s Mittens over at the apostate “blog” Vox Granola is good for SOMETHING at least… He lets us know that Newton Leroy “Newt” Gingrich, republiteaparty upcomer and shiny brand-new Roman Catholic, will be holding a book signing at the glorious Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception this weekend. Of course, Mittens is trying to get all three of his readers to call the Basilica to protest this appearance of that whom can only be the perfect, most utterly perfect, Catholic public figure we have ever did see. And of course, Mittens had absolutely no problem with the Kenyan baby-killer appearing at the University of Notre Shame to pick up his Catholyc seal-of-approval in the form of a Ph.D. degree!!

Yes, the guy has been an adulterer in his distant past. We get it. Yes, he was a sinner. But what the Catholyc liberal baby-killers don’t understand is that he is a repentant sinner. Sure, it took the flashy-flashy of a new shot at the presidency to make him change his disgusting sexual ways. But this is in fact a glorious AMERICAN TRADITION. Look at Ronald Reagan, the former pro-choice politician and Hollywood whore. Look at John McCain, former — and kinda current — pro-choicer and adulterer. This is the pattern, people. This is how GOD WORKS. His Holiness Gingrinch has come home to Holy Mother Church from the Baptists, just as God has planned it. That’s all that counts. His soul has been saved. He is on the right team. So what if he sometimes sounds a little racist? I mean, so what if he ACTUALLY IS racist?! Look at the facts. Gingrich is

1. a good Catholic,
2. is solidly pro-life,
3. is faithful to Benedict XVI: the Pope of Christian Unity
4. he follows the Catechism of the Catholic Church

That’s all there is to it, folks. I mean, why have we not had potential candidates like this before? It is actually very simply to be a good Catholic politician.

The rector of the Basilica Monsignor Walter Rossi should be COMMENDED and PRAISED and MADE A CARDINAL for what he is doing. Catholic Fascists everywhere should email their thanks to him directly at Send a nice e-card or something, maybe. If you would like to phone your thanks to him, do so at 202-526-8300. Tell Rossi that you are pleased that Benedict’s Vicar to the United States (forget about that Latino ambassador dude who is probably PRO-CHOICE I forget his name what the heck is it) is being given this holiest of platforms.


2 Responses to “Call the Basilica with praise and thanksgiving!!”

  1. Cindy said

    Your attempt at humor is just one thing. An attempt. When will the right realize, that you are just not funny? Stop sleeping. Wake up my good men! You have commedians like Larry the Cable Guy, and Dennis the Miller. Oh shucks, I suppose I could even throw in that Jeff Foxnotworthy guy as well. The sooner you realize that liberals are the only funny people in the world, the better our world will be. So let’s take a deep breath and count to 5 and decide to give up this attempt once and for all.

    It’s not cute to put your serial adulterer in a photo with hearts around him. I mean we get it. Newt tells the world he’s sorry. He’s a good Catholic boy now. Sins are forgiven. Well maybe you righties should think of it in another way. Sorry I killed my baby. At that time in my life, it wasnt the right timing. It shouldnt be about my past character, it should just be about now. I’m reformed. Sorry. Oh and poor Newt. He’s just showing early signs of senality. I would call him scum, but that would just be an insult to the algea of the world. What you fail to see is, you don’t have much to choose from when it comes to running a candidate for the Presidency. Poor Newt just did himself in with his attempt to appeal only to a small fringe group of this country. So again, give up your attempt at the humor. If I wanted a good laugh, I would just youtube a Sarah Palin interview!

  2. Pelayo Zaragosa said

    Mr. Gingrich is proof that only America can save the Catholic Church, and only the Catholic Church can save America. Good, red-blooded, patriotic Americans need to enter the Church and clean out the Augean stables of the USCCB, Communist-weal, Un-America, and all of the other socialist, Kenyan-loving Catholics and their homo-tainted evil works. At the same time, the Church can give these patriots a refuge from the gay Episcopalians and other soft-headed liberal Protties. It’s a match made in Heaven, really. I think the Pope needs to release an encyclical that is just a verbatim quote of the entire U.S. Constitution. Then the Magisterium and our most noble form of government would be one.

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