Close the border now

September 10, 2010

Joe Hargrave on our sister site has done yeoman’s work in showing the problems of immigration on the southern border, that the liberal latte sipping metrosexual sissies in New York and California don’t care about. And lying heretic bishops like Phony Baloney Mahony don’t get it either. Mother Angelica had your number years ago, heretic.

This is the problem. With open borders, bloodthirsty machete-wielding Mexicans are over running amuck and terrorizing honest God-fearing Americans. They are shooting people and cutting throats with broken tequila bottles. They are cutting off people’s heads and burying them in the desert. The Mexican military is running over the border, and shooting randomly at Americans, because they are all drunk and high on cocaine anyway. The Mexicans gangs have taken over our southern towns. They are pillaging and burning whole towns, and turning them into scnes from Mad Max. They are beheading our men and raping our women, and some of our men too, because most Mexicans are gay. And they are dirty and greasy and never seem to wash, and they throw garbage all over the place. They drive around our streets playing their ugly loud alien music, and if you complain, they’ll run after you with a machete and chop off your head. Mexico is run by the narco terrorists, and soon America will be too if we don’t close the borders.

The only answer is to ban all immigration from Mexico. And don’t you dare tell me that’s racist, as that will make me very very angry. It’s for the common good. The Church teaches that countries can regulate their borders. Let’s face it. America and Mexico have nothing in common. America is based on Judeo-Christian principles in the rational Anglo-Saxon tradition. Mexico is built on anger, emotion, machismo, and blood feuds. You can’t mix the two. And you can’t argue with these people, because they get emotional over every issue and cry racism. Well, sorry, this is not racism and get back to me when you can put the emotion aside and have a reasonable debate. This emotionalism drives me crazy, because I believe in reason and rationality. In fact, it makes me really angry, so angry that I want to pound my head against the wall or go our to the firing range. I want to scream at the stupidity of it all. I am so freaking angry now. AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Do you know your enemy?

September 2, 2010

I’m this morning. Very angry. Why, you might ask? What’s up, Joe, you’re such a level-headed guy, what’s up today? I’ll tell you. I’m angry because the Church is being attacked on all sides by its enemies and because the Church has bought into this 1960s PC crap, we are no longer allowed to call a spade a spade. This is really dangerous as the Church defines itself based on what it is against. We saw this all the way from the attack on Arianism through the attack on pro-abort politicians. This is what makes the Church stronger. If we don’t fight our enemies, we will not survive. I’m worried. And I’m angry.

There is no bigger enemy of the Church than Islam. Thanks to the Church and tha Catholic west, we have freedom, liberty, and free markets today. Without that, it would all be beards, bombs, and burkas. We fought them hard during the crusades, even if treacherous pansies from the Byzantine empire though modern day liberals like to side with the Muslims against their own kind. Mark Shea says it best:

“Actually, I’d be more inclined to say Islam is the enemy, but that not all Muslims are.”

Right on, Shea, you are forgiven for all that American bashing. It’s time for the west to take up the sword again, to renew the crusading spirit that gave glory to God and manly virtue. How about a crusade against Iran, the west bank terrorists, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, the Taliban. It’s all one fight. Let’s do it now. Deus lo vult! Deus lo vult! Deus lo vult! And by the way, those Greek bastards deserve all they get in their economic crisis for selling out the crusades to the enemy and spitting in the face of Christ.

There are enemies at home to that must be fought. Pro-aborts, socialists, feminists, freedom haters, immigrants. Let’s fight them all! Even worse, there are enemies in the Church. What the hell is wrong with the Church? Why are we cursed with heretics like Phony Baloney Mahony when we have a crisis on our hands with all these Catholic In Name Only groups who true aim is to destroy the Church, which means Satan is their master? Thank God we have holy Catholic men like Thomas Peters willing to stand a stand against these domestic infidels. Heretic pro-abort Catholics in Alliance for the Common Good is gone. Now let’s smoke out the rest of these heretics: Commonweal, National Catholic Reporter, Vox Puka, Doug Kmiec, “Sister” Carol Keehan, the pro-death panel Catholic Health Association, (anti) America magazine, Mikey Sean Winters, the Communist Campaign for Human Development. And while we’re at it, lets root out the last remnants of the 1960s from the Church: guitars, peace and love, social justice and all that communist crap. In the Vatican too.

And forget this ant-capitalist climate change rubbish. It’s all made up anyway and it would kill our economy. So what if Africa is doing badly? Not our fault. They’re all just lazy and corrupt anyway. Yeah, I know what the liberals will say, that its racism. Bull. The Church teaches individual responsibility. Fix your own damned climate, or move somewhere nicer, jerks. Be a man, for God’s sake. Socialism like cap and tax won’t save you, it will kill you. Only the sword of Christ will save you. And anyway, maybe climate change will be God’s judgment on the Muslims. CRUSADE NOW!!!

In the evil despicable liberal culture, you will see lists of “ins “and “outs”. In a sign that this depraved liberal culture is the bastard child of Sodom and pagan Rome, you can even see people listed as “hot” or not. These jerks think “hot” means attractive, but the joke is on them, as they will be burning for all eternity. Let me just say that I hate hate hate hate hate hate this liberal culture. Illicit sex and socialism go together. When I think about it, I want to bang my head against the wall, really hard. But then I thought – hey Joe, why don’t you use your head in a more smart way? God gave you a great brain, and called us to use our talents. So here goes, I will now reclaim “hot or not” for Christ, by doing a comparison of “orthodox” vs. “dissident”. Read this and weep, liberal Catholics. Weep because it is so brilliant and weep because you are going to hell.

Dissident                                                Orthodox

Vox Nova                                                  Catholic Fascist

America magazine                                 American Catholic

Michael Sean Winters                           St. Michael the Archangel

Snooki                                                         Zippy

Nancy Pelosi                                            Sarah Palin

Cardinal Mahony                                   Archbishop Chaput

Heath care reform                                Liberty       

Big government                                     Big families

Vatican II                                                Vatican I

Eucharistic ministers                         The latin Mass

Democrats                                                     Republicans                           

Europe                                                     America

Cordoba mosque                                 Siege of Vienna

Barry Obamassiah                              Ronald Reagan the Great       

Second Obama term                          Second amendment

Gays                                                         Manly men

Saul Alinsky                                         St. Paul

 Unions                                                   Uniates

Humanism                                             Humanae Vitae

Socialism                                               Catholic social teaching

United Nations                                    Nation states

Hippies                                                   Marines

Death panels                                        American Life League

Catholic Action                                  Acton Institute

Thomas Gumbleton                          Thomas Peters

Medicare rationing boards            Waterboards

Latin America                                     Latin

 

I now invite faithful orthodox readers to submit their own entries!

I’ve been thinking a lot about the role of the state in Catholic social teaching, and I’ve come to the view that small-government conservatism is the only answer, and that the American founders are the true successors of Aquinas, and indeed of Jesus Christ.

I plan on writing a 10 part series explaining my views, each composed of 7 sub-parts. I know you will find these arguments fascinating and brilliant. Because they are quite brilliant, if I may say so myself. Prepare to be dazzled! They testify to my keen mind and erudition. In fact, they are so good that I’m going to go out and join some other blogs to post them on. Oh, I forgot to tell you that I am also planning some long posts expounding on the psalms, socialism in Dan Brown’s novels, the abortionist agenda in modern music, the relationship between Hayek and Balthasar, and a post-neo-historical-critical analysis of the New Testament. Stay tuned. I know you will all like these arguments. In fact, just as I write this sentence, I’m thinking of more brilliant insights I want to share with you. My mind moves to fast! What would you all do without me?

We can all make this argument from the position or freedom and liberty. If government is on your back, telling you what to do, taking your money, stealing you guns, or forcing you into gay marriages, then you are not free, and liberty is the most important principal in Catholic social teaching. This is a good argument, but I have a better one. This one is truly awesome.

Government spending should be almost zero because if the government gives anybody money, they could go out and use that money for abortion. Even if they pay for the abortion out of their own pocket, this distinction is a sham. As we all learned during the pathetic health care debate (when we make good points and liberals foamed at the mouth), money is fungible. The government is paying for abortion. Since it is illicit, evil, immoral, and reprehensible for the government to do that, the government is not permitted to spend any money.

Notice I said “almost zero”. There is one exception to my rule. The government must fund the military. The reason this is licit is double effect (I plan 12 posts explaining that to you). Because killing jihadists and the enemies of Christ (who are consubstantial with the enemies of America) is good, any abortions that might arise is allowed by double effect. In the best scenario of all, the military would kill abortionists and I would support that! Abortionists deserve what they good. The disgust me, just like Cardinal Mahony and nasty liberal bloggers disgust me. I love the military. I love America.

I believe I have proved my argument. I know you will like it. I know you will recognize how brilliant it is. But I recognize that some people will come on this blog to berate me, and tell me I’m wrong, and pretend they know it all because they have pathetic theology degrees from liberal elitist east coast schools. I want to be charitable, but I find it hard to deal with these people. They make me angry! They drive me crazy! I detest them and everything that stand for. They simply can’t understand the brilliance of my arguments, so why waste time on them? They make me really really angry. I am getting angry now thinking about them. I’m getting mad. My face is turning purple. I’m furious. I feel like punching my fist through the desk. I just did it. My fist really hurts!! I’m even angrier now. I want to stick my pen in my eye. Oh no, I just did it. Don’t worry, though, I wear glasses, so my eye is not hurt. But my glasses are broken. I AM SO ANGRY!!!!! OK, these people are all preemptively banned from this site. I don’t ever want to talk to them. I’ll spit on them in the street. Ahhhhhhhhh!