Happy holidays, you fascists!

December 22, 2010

We here at The Catholic Fascist have taken some heat over the supposed misuse of the term “fascist.” (We think our “about us” page explains our usage quite nicely.) Our buddies and mentors over at The American Catholic have often been at the forefront of this quibble-fest, arguing that essentially any use of the terms “fascist” or “fascism” analogously is inappropriate. Sinful, even.

Until today! TAC’s chief ranter Joe Hargrave has finally come around and has decided to start throwing the word “fascist” around a little more liberally. In this post, he rightly condemns everyone who will not utter the words “Merry Christmas” at this holy time of year as a FASCIST! That’s right — Christians and non-Christians alike are fascists if they have a problem with the words “Merry Christmas.” And he is absolutely right.

So kudos to Joe for always speaking the truth, and now, for finally speaking our language! Holiday Birthday-of-the-White-Male-Imperial-Christ blessings upon Joe, The American Catholic, and to all of our readers, now and forever! The government shall be upon his shoulders, so let’s make that gov’t as small as possible in the new year, fellow patriots!



November 11, 2010

On this day, one of our mostest holiest as American “fascist” Catholics, there is no better place to point your webby browsers than our brothers and sisters in Christ at The American Catholic, and particularly its principal author Ronald McClarney. The homage and worship that they display every day for our holy dead soldiers is truly remarkable and inspiring, but on a day like today they will surely go all out. Keep your eyes peeled and then let them weep tears of red, white, and blue. Thank you, TAC!

Kudos to the Huffington Post for highlighting the rise of Catholic fascist online activism! Although we are a little hurt that they did not include our modest little blog in their round-up.

We were pleased to learn of the efforts of some truly fascistic Roman Catholics in Boston in exposing the Marxist and pro-gay “Father” Bryan Hehir on this new blog. Their efforts are welcomed and truly important.

Catholic fascists everywhere have two Catholic bloggers to thank for setting the record straight on the legacy of Christopher Columbus.

Michael Sean Winters over at National Catholic Distorter must have been recruited in order to change the reputation of that newspaper, as his views have often tip-toed into sanity. In addition to holding a quite-right view on the nation of Israel, Winters clearly sees that genocide in the name of the Gospel is justified.

And Joe Hargrave over at The American Catholic, always an unambiguous champion of Catholic fascism, gives us the more detailed goods on why Catholics should never apologize for European imperialism and genocide, including a scathing critique of that hero of the Christian Left — including the proponents of the condemned “liberation theology — Bartolome de Las Casas. Las Casas was clearly the forefather of dissident priests like Gustavo Gutierrez, John Sobrino, Richard McBrien, John Dear, Roger Haiht, and all Jesuits. And he was obviously a total creep and whiny guilt-ridden liberal.

Not only should Catholics NOT apologize for Columbus or Columbus Day or Euro-genocide, LET’S MAKE EVERY DAY COLUMBUS DAY at least in Spirit. Here is a quote to inspire you to those ends:

“No one should doubt that the gunpowder against the infidels is like incense to the Lord.” – Oviedo, 16th c.

Liberal television journalist Anderson Cooper may have had fun attempting to make fun of Michigan Ass. Attorney General Andrew Shirvell’s brave stand against the homosexualistic invasion of college campuses symbolized in the pathetic student body figure of radical homosexualist activist and student Chris Armstrong. But indeed, it is Cooper who ends up looking like a fool as Shirvell’s brave and articulate defense of his mission speaks for itself. Shirvell’s clear mental superiority is seen in his refusal to even look at Cooper’s liberal camera lens as it persecutes such a brave and masculine Christian “fascist.” Shirvell has every right to use his free time to expose and combat the radical gay student agenda. He should be commended, and Catholic fascists everywhere are right to do so!

Dead horses, you know?

September 26, 2010

I shouldn’t have, but I did!!!!!!

Today I read Fr. Richard McBrien’s article on Cardinal Marc Ouellet, the new head of the Vatican’s Congregation for Bishops. As the prefect for this congregation Cardinal Ouellet will play a crucial role in the appointment of the Church’s bishops in the years to come.

In his article McBrien makes the following observation:

When commenting on the greatest crisis to confront the Catholic Church since the Reformation of the 16th century, Ouellet seemed to blame the scandal of sexual abuse in the priesthood on the weakening of moral standards in society — a common explanation given by those who are reluctant to address the internal problems of the church, including obligatory clerical celibacy, the role of women, and the declining quality of pastoral leadership.

While there might be some who see the clergy sex scandal as the greatest crisis for the Church since the Reformation, I am certainly not one of them. But what I found completely absurd — again, I should’ve avoided the article to begin with, because it was to be expected — was McBrien’s reference to the role of women in this context. How, exactly, would priestesses have prevented the abuse of children by clergy?

Father McBrien: your vision of the Church and of the Second Vatican Council is both erroneous and dying!!!!! Only a tiny fraction of young Catholics in general and those seeking degrees in theology in particular accept that erroneous reading!!!!!

Might I propose that you get with the times?!?!?!?!

After the great work done by servant of God Glenn Beck, this patriot is promoting a march we should go to. His name sounds a bit gay and french, but his message is Godly and muscular American:

“America, the Greatest Country God ever gave Man, was built on three bedrock principles: Freedom. Liberty. And Fear — that someone might take our Freedom and Liberty. But now, there are dark, optimistic forces trying to take away our Fear — forces with salt and pepper hair and way more Emmys than they need. They want to replace our Fear with reason. But never forget — “Reason” is just one letter away from “Treason.” Coincidence? Reasonable people would say it is, but America can’t afford to take that chance.”

This gentleman makes a good point. It’s  a Catholic point too. We don’t hear much about fear of the Lord these days, but we all need to fear the lord as the non-elect are going straight to hell and Obama’s evil health care can’t save them. In my day, kids were taught fear with a birch across the backside, or by listening to the John Birch guys. Instead of sitting in the mud and smoking pot and listening to devil’s music, they sat in the mud of Normandy and listened to God’s sacred music of tanks and bombs. But today, they are lazy and gay-ish. They don’t care about the islamofacists, and they couldn’t even locate them on a map. Here’s a hint, sissies, it’s in Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, France, and Mexico. We need to bring back fear to scare the crap out of these baby liberals, so maybe they can wake up and bomb them. I want my damn country back.

Well, Old Dan might well come to DC for that event. I haven’t been to DC since the days of Herbert Hoover so it might have changed a bit since them. I don’t want to waste my money on hotels, even if it’s still better than taxes, so I might just camp put on the Mall, and cook my food under God’s own starlight. All faithful orthodox readers are welcome to join and sing some good battle songs around the campfire.

FINALLY! A U.S. Catholic Church willing to promote the truth! Morning’s Mittens over at the apostate “blog” Vox Granola is good for SOMETHING at least… He lets us know that Newton Leroy “Newt” Gingrich, republiteaparty upcomer and shiny brand-new Roman Catholic, will be holding a book signing at the glorious Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception this weekend. Of course, Mittens is trying to get all three of his readers to call the Basilica to protest this appearance of that whom can only be the perfect, most utterly perfect, Catholic public figure we have ever did see. And of course, Mittens had absolutely no problem with the Kenyan baby-killer appearing at the University of Notre Shame to pick up his Catholyc seal-of-approval in the form of a Ph.D. degree!!

Yes, the guy has been an adulterer in his distant past. We get it. Yes, he was a sinner. But what the Catholyc liberal baby-killers don’t understand is that he is a repentant sinner. Sure, it took the flashy-flashy of a new shot at the presidency to make him change his disgusting sexual ways. But this is in fact a glorious AMERICAN TRADITION. Look at Ronald Reagan, the former pro-choice politician and Hollywood whore. Look at John McCain, former — and kinda current — pro-choicer and adulterer. This is the pattern, people. This is how GOD WORKS. His Holiness Gingrinch has come home to Holy Mother Church from the Baptists, just as God has planned it. That’s all that counts. His soul has been saved. He is on the right team. So what if he sometimes sounds a little racist? I mean, so what if he ACTUALLY IS racist?! Look at the facts. Gingrich is

1. a good Catholic,
2. is solidly pro-life,
3. is faithful to Benedict XVI: the Pope of Christian Unity
4. he follows the Catechism of the Catholic Church

That’s all there is to it, folks. I mean, why have we not had potential candidates like this before? It is actually very simply to be a good Catholic politician.

The rector of the Basilica Monsignor Walter Rossi should be COMMENDED and PRAISED and MADE A CARDINAL for what he is doing. Catholic Fascists everywhere should email their thanks to him directly at wrr@bnsic.org. Send a nice e-card or something, maybe. If you would like to phone your thanks to him, do so at 202-526-8300. Tell Rossi that you are pleased that Benedict’s Vicar to the United States (forget about that Latino ambassador dude who is probably PRO-CHOICE I forget his name what the heck is it) is being given this holiest of platforms.

Never forget!

September 13, 2010

Well, great. We said we’d never forget 9/11, and we forgot 9/11. Sorry.

Close the border now

September 10, 2010

Joe Hargrave on our sister site has done yeoman’s work in showing the problems of immigration on the southern border, that the liberal latte sipping metrosexual sissies in New York and California don’t care about. And lying heretic bishops like Phony Baloney Mahony don’t get it either. Mother Angelica had your number years ago, heretic.

This is the problem. With open borders, bloodthirsty machete-wielding Mexicans are over running amuck and terrorizing honest God-fearing Americans. They are shooting people and cutting throats with broken tequila bottles. They are cutting off people’s heads and burying them in the desert. The Mexican military is running over the border, and shooting randomly at Americans, because they are all drunk and high on cocaine anyway. The Mexicans gangs have taken over our southern towns. They are pillaging and burning whole towns, and turning them into scnes from Mad Max. They are beheading our men and raping our women, and some of our men too, because most Mexicans are gay. And they are dirty and greasy and never seem to wash, and they throw garbage all over the place. They drive around our streets playing their ugly loud alien music, and if you complain, they’ll run after you with a machete and chop off your head. Mexico is run by the narco terrorists, and soon America will be too if we don’t close the borders.

The only answer is to ban all immigration from Mexico. And don’t you dare tell me that’s racist, as that will make me very very angry. It’s for the common good. The Church teaches that countries can regulate their borders. Let’s face it. America and Mexico have nothing in common. America is based on Judeo-Christian principles in the rational Anglo-Saxon tradition. Mexico is built on anger, emotion, machismo, and blood feuds. You can’t mix the two. And you can’t argue with these people, because they get emotional over every issue and cry racism. Well, sorry, this is not racism and get back to me when you can put the emotion aside and have a reasonable debate. This emotionalism drives me crazy, because I believe in reason and rationality. In fact, it makes me really angry, so angry that I want to pound my head against the wall or go our to the firing range. I want to scream at the stupidity of it all. I am so freaking angry now. AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!