The libertine heretical dissidents at Vox Puka, the pro-abort debate club, has put up a post on the top ten best theological works of the 20th century. It comes as no surprise that these are all weird gay sounding European names, or that they are all elitist intellectual types with far too much book learnin’ and not enough good old American common sense. And we all where which one Catholic teaching is based on! Come on, Jesus had no fancy liberal book learnin’ – him and his guys were just honest small business owners like carpenters and fisherman oppressed by big Roman government. If you open up one of those books, and you won’t understand a cottinpickin word. That’s the point, I think, they want you to be so impressed by how big their brains are, and to admire them. But if you do that, you will lose your faith, so no thanks, I’m steering clear of these European socialist pansies.

So I said, Dan, why don’t you come up with your own list? Why not! After all, I was born in 1896 and so remember the whole of the 20th century. So here y’all are, in no particular order:

1. The Spirit of Democratic Capitalism, by Michael Novak

– Novak lays it on the line, how Catholic teaching is based on free markets. Never been equalled.

2. The Road to Serfdom, by Friedrich Hayek.

– Yeah, I know he’s European, and I know it’s hard to follow, but it’s worth it. The supreme intellectual defense of freedom and everything that makes God and America so great.

3. Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand

– A moral fable about what happens with big government. Socialists need to repent now.

4. To Save America: Stopping Obama’s Secular-Socialist Machine, by Newt Gingrich

– America’s greatest living Catholic theologian applies his brain to the problems of our time.

5. Deliver Us from Evil: Defeating Terrorism, Despotism, and Liberalism, by Sean Hannity

–  Bringing the mystery of the incarnation to life in modern America.

6. God And Man At Yale, by William F. Buckley Jr.

– A modern version of St. Anselm’s Cur Deus Homo.

7. Against the Grain: Christianity and Democracy, War and Peace, by George Weigel

–  The greatest just war theologian since Augustine makes a compelling case.

8. Courting Disaster: How the CIA Kept America Safe and How Barack Obama Is Inviting the Next Attack, by Marc Thiessen

– Second only to Weigel, Thiessen shows how America can be kept safe by applying just war theory to enemy combatants.

9. The Naked Public Square: Religion and Democracy in America, by Richard John Neuhaus

– Neuhaus shows how America is the ideal Catholic country, based on freedom.

10. America is the Real Catholic Church and Socialist Europe is Damned, by Daniel Tobias Pius McLockinload

– I don’t like to toot my horn here, but I’ve been looking for a publisher for this since 1949. It is my definitive work on why the American constitution has the status of a conciliar document, and why only the freedoms we have in America are really aligned with Catholic teaching. If any publisher is reading this, let me know.

I was shocked, utterly shocked to find that one of my favorite Catholic fascist blogs, The American Catholic, ran not one, not two, but THREE BLOG POSTS about American pop parody comedy whatever icon “Weird Al” Yankovic this week.

Now I will admit that I enjoyed “Weird Al” music when he first began his career recording demos in a college dormitory bathroom and getting them played on Dr. Demento, “back in the day,” as the kids say. But I have come to see “Weird Al” not as simple parodic comedy, but as a true threat to America and to everything She values.

First of all, it is simply NOT TRUE when Tito Edwards writes:

Warning: The following videos are without profane lyrics or any form of nudity. You may finally realize that you can enjoy “contemporary” or “pop” music without all the vileness that emanates from the black hole that is MTV.

Well, okay, it is mostly true. But the VILENESS that he refers to is present in “Weird Al’s” music. And his music serves as a GATEWAY to the MTV filth that Tito refers to. Let me explain.

One of Tito’s favorite “Weird Al” songs is the style parody “One More Minute” in which Yankovic sings about how he would rather have a bunch of terrible, disgusting, and painful things done to him rather than stay with his woman. Although this song could be construed to be about divorce, which is unclear due to the ambiguous lyrics, one thing is for sure: the song has a clear masturbation reference that Tito apparently did not catch: I’m stranded all alone at the gas station of love / and I have to use the self-service pumps.

This is not the only sexual reference in Al’s music. His album Even Worse features a song called “Stuck in a Closet With Vanna White.” Many of his “polka medleys” contain bits of popular songs that contain sexual lyrics, including the song “Polkas on 45” which contains the lyrics “I’m a little girl when we make love together” from the Berlin song “Sex (I’m A).” And his medley “The Hot Rocks Polka,” made up of bits from songs by The Rolling Stones contains lyrics from “Let’s Spend the Night Together” and “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction.”

Even Al’s parodies that do not themselves reference immoral behavior are often making fun of songs that are clearly sexually immoral. Take for instance his “Isle Thing” from the album UHF – Original Motion Picture Soundtrack and Other Stuff. The song is just a harmless song about Gilligan’s Island, right? Not so fast, Weird-o! The song is based on “Wild Thing” by Tone Loc, one of the most immoral songs ever recorded. If you choose to “Google” the lyrics, don’t say I didn’t warn you. Another earlier example is the song “Like a Surgeon” which is clearly a parody of Madonna’s song “Like a Virgin.” And no, the famous anti-Catholic “Madonna” is NOT singing about the Blessed Mother as you might guess.

Just as “Weird Al” parody songs can be a gateway into learning all about the original songs which often feature sexually immoral behavior, other behavior and strange ideas can be found once “Weird Al” listeners seek out the originals. Take another of Tito’s favorites, the recent Al track “Bob” which is a style parody of Bob Dylan. The song appears to be quite ingenious, parodying Dylan’s distinctive vocal style while Al sings lyrics that are nonsensical but made up of nothing but Palindromes. That’s all well and good, but imagine for one moment that some young Catholic kid decides to look up Bob Dylan as a result of hearing this song. Not only would the poor young man be exposed to more sexually explicit content in some of Dylan’s songs, but constant songs about peace and pacifism. The One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church’s teaching, coming directly from Jesus Christ, is JUST WAR TEACHING. Last and not least, Bob Dylan’s main instrument was the guitar and he was known as part of the ’60s folk revival. Yes, that’s right, the precise context for the “ROMAN CATHOLIC” FOLK MASS. Indeed, some hippie dippie St. Louis Jesuits extremist types actually played Bob Dylan songs like “Blowing in the Wind” at Mass! Can you imagine singing about peace ON A GUITAR at Mass? Of course you can, because Bob Dylan RUINED the Catholic liturgy. He was probably one of the ecumenicistic periti (that is, people who had no right to be there!) at Vatican II, sitting right next to Carl Rahner!!

Perhaps most troubling is the “Weird Al” song “Christmas at Ground Zero.” Although it was released back in 1986, the song has not since been banned, not even after 9/11. It is a dishonorable song, and disgraceful to the American people. “Weird Al” should apologize for it, of course, but he — to date — has not. He is still raking in the money from that song every time some punk kid buys a copy of the album Polka Party. Until he apologizes for writing, prophetically, such an un-American song, I’m afraid Catholic fascists everywhere will have to judge “Weird Al” HIMSELF to be un-American.

See for yourself.

Not to mention the fact that “Weird Al” kind of looks Canadian at the end of the song.

That’s enough evidence, I think, to show that “Weird Al” deserves no place in a Catholic home, and certainly no place on a Catholic blog. THE CATHOLIC FASCIST calls on THE AMERICAN CATHOLIC to apologize and retract its damaging and embarrassing statements of Al fandom, lest they be lumped in with the vile and liberal MTV loving heretics.

OK, I’ve got coupons for Chick-Fil-A to use! Later!

Avatars

September 4, 2010

To all of our commenters. I have noticed many of you do not have avatars. Please create one or I will nag you about it until you do.

Here’s a simple link that can help:

http://en.gravatar.com/

GOD SAVE ARIZONE-A!

September 3, 2010

Holy fucking shit. I have to swear a little bit, and I apologize and reprent to my God Jesus, but HOLY SHIT, this video had me in tears:

At first I thought it must be a joke, from maybe some liberals or something, because I have never encountered such sincerity from Republican Tea Partiers. Ray Steven, you have outdone thyself. This video will move hearts. And minds. And souls, to the Jesus that I know.

I cannot say much as I am still absorbing all of the sand, cacti, blue screens, and trucker hats featured in your musical film. But I will reiterate!

GOD SAVE ARIZONE-A FROM OUR OWN FED’RAL GOVER’MENT!!!

3:41 — You shake your head at the sin of this liberal nation!
3:44 — You put your hands in your own middle-class pockets that that MUSLIN Obama President of ours is STEALING FROM.

You seriously could not be more accurate in the way you portray the oppression of the white, bearded man in this country!

So, lemme get this straight. Tomorrow is Friday which means Saturday is Saturday and that is the day I can and will go to confession to reprent to Jesus for the word “fucking” that I used in this post. But tough guys must use tough words to portray the obscenity of the brown men and womens that are entering this country to steal from us. I promise to have a little talk with Jesus about my language in confession on Saturday, as it was use only for his glory and for his honor and also that of the United States of America on this day in Glenn Beck’ honoor. Forgiveness is coming for me in sacrament.

I dare you to listen to this video and not be moved in the depths of your heart, soul, and nether-regions. Thank you, Ray. Ray, thanks.

Do you know your enemy?

September 2, 2010

I’m this morning. Very angry. Why, you might ask? What’s up, Joe, you’re such a level-headed guy, what’s up today? I’ll tell you. I’m angry because the Church is being attacked on all sides by its enemies and because the Church has bought into this 1960s PC crap, we are no longer allowed to call a spade a spade. This is really dangerous as the Church defines itself based on what it is against. We saw this all the way from the attack on Arianism through the attack on pro-abort politicians. This is what makes the Church stronger. If we don’t fight our enemies, we will not survive. I’m worried. And I’m angry.

There is no bigger enemy of the Church than Islam. Thanks to the Church and tha Catholic west, we have freedom, liberty, and free markets today. Without that, it would all be beards, bombs, and burkas. We fought them hard during the crusades, even if treacherous pansies from the Byzantine empire though modern day liberals like to side with the Muslims against their own kind. Mark Shea says it best:

“Actually, I’d be more inclined to say Islam is the enemy, but that not all Muslims are.”

Right on, Shea, you are forgiven for all that American bashing. It’s time for the west to take up the sword again, to renew the crusading spirit that gave glory to God and manly virtue. How about a crusade against Iran, the west bank terrorists, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, the Taliban. It’s all one fight. Let’s do it now. Deus lo vult! Deus lo vult! Deus lo vult! And by the way, those Greek bastards deserve all they get in their economic crisis for selling out the crusades to the enemy and spitting in the face of Christ.

There are enemies at home to that must be fought. Pro-aborts, socialists, feminists, freedom haters, immigrants. Let’s fight them all! Even worse, there are enemies in the Church. What the hell is wrong with the Church? Why are we cursed with heretics like Phony Baloney Mahony when we have a crisis on our hands with all these Catholic In Name Only groups who true aim is to destroy the Church, which means Satan is their master? Thank God we have holy Catholic men like Thomas Peters willing to stand a stand against these domestic infidels. Heretic pro-abort Catholics in Alliance for the Common Good is gone. Now let’s smoke out the rest of these heretics: Commonweal, National Catholic Reporter, Vox Puka, Doug Kmiec, “Sister” Carol Keehan, the pro-death panel Catholic Health Association, (anti) America magazine, Mikey Sean Winters, the Communist Campaign for Human Development. And while we’re at it, lets root out the last remnants of the 1960s from the Church: guitars, peace and love, social justice and all that communist crap. In the Vatican too.

And forget this ant-capitalist climate change rubbish. It’s all made up anyway and it would kill our economy. So what if Africa is doing badly? Not our fault. They’re all just lazy and corrupt anyway. Yeah, I know what the liberals will say, that its racism. Bull. The Church teaches individual responsibility. Fix your own damned climate, or move somewhere nicer, jerks. Be a man, for God’s sake. Socialism like cap and tax won’t save you, it will kill you. Only the sword of Christ will save you. And anyway, maybe climate change will be God’s judgment on the Muslims. CRUSADE NOW!!!

The bible tells us we should not worship false gods, like golden calves, buddhas, or allahs. But the Obamassiah has built a big golden calf called government debt. It’s yellow and shiny and seductive. High priest Obama says that if we pray it to three times daily, and dance like a barbarian Kenyan villager in a loincloth around it, then it will be placated and wont destroy American with its “financial crisis”. Barfie O’Bull says that because he prayed to this false god, and his prophet Keynes, who was a filthy homosexual, the United States has been spared a great calamity. Sorry to burst your Indonesian bubble there, Barry Soetoro, but God will not be mocked. God told us that America is his chosen nation and are under his protection. He gave us the country to do whatever we wanted with, and he kicked out the naked Indians to give us elbow room to drive our SUVs. This is God’s plan. This is our God, Imam Hussein Obama, not yours, and he will be not allow you to destroy America with your socialism and with your golden debt calf.

Good citizens, look at what this witch doctor has done. Under Bush, a good decent man and an effective leader, we had no debt. Yes, I know that he spent a lot of money, but he did that to keep America safe, and keep it safe he did. Thank you mister president! But in his great wisdom, he cut taxes and reduced the debt. Anybody worth his salt knows why. If you cut taxes, people will work more, and if you cut those lazy good-for-nothings off welfare, they will work more still. So less spending on welfare, which is the biggest item in the budget. Less taxes, which makes more money. Less spending, more revenue leans less debt, and defeated terrorists. Thank you mister president.

Now the terrorist in chief is trying to undo all this good. He spent, spent, spent, and taxed, taxed, taxed, and this African medicine man thinks Americans are so stupid they will buy this baloney? I don’t think so. Good honest Americans won’t let him ruin our birthright. We will take our country back and destroy the golden debt calf by cutting welfare spending and cutting taxes, just like Bush done. God bless America.

“Once more, there is absolutely nothing wrong with Embryonic Stem Cell Research.”

These are the direct words of the president of the Catholic Family and Human Rights Institute (C-FAM) and recipient of an honorary doctorate at Franciscan University in Steubenville, written in the comboxes of Catholyc blog “VOX NOVA.”

This man has no doubt done amazing things for the Unborn — including letting them know that George W. Bush is a fine Catholic man. And surely Franciscan U. had these amazing things in mind when they invited him to be their commencement speaker and when they gave him a doctorate in 2004.

But the sad thing is that in casual conversation, such as on blogs, even our most hallowed leaders can say things that make us question their pro-life credentials. I have no doubt that the good Doctor uddered these words because he was in the company of liberals and he wanted to appear “thoughtful” and “nuanced,” just “one of the girls.” The fact is, though, what he says is not TRUE nor is it even CORRECT. He apparently does not know the meaning of the Catholic term NON-NEGOTIABLE.

Sure, the Doctor tried to explain what he meant by this sentence further down the thread. But my post here proves that such explanations make no difference, as his words speak for themselves. This sentence can be taken entirely to mean exactly what it says, and for that reason we should be wary of pro-life leaders who misspeak in such a way. He could lead the faithful to be the non-faithful. This udderance brings scandal to the Catholic community, and should bring scandal to the Franciscan U. community as well.

We at THE CATHOLIC FASCIST join the chorus of conservative voices in the Catholic blogosphere as we call on Father Terrence Henry, TOR, president of Franciscan University to stand by his obvious Philadelphian pro-life commitments and revoke the honorary degree given to this questionable pro-life leader and to re-do the 2004 graduation replacing the “honored” “doctor” with Glenn Beck as commencement speaker. Franciscan’s untarnished reputation of ORTHODOXY is at stake here, lest it join the ranks of Notre Dame, Boston College, Georgetown and Yale as a BAD CATHOLIC UNIVERSITY OR COLLEGE.

Father Henry’s contact information does not appear to be listed on the university website. He could no doubt be found deep in prayer for Glenn Beck at the Christ the King Chapel. The phone number there is (740) 283-6276. Or try the Office of Catechetics at (740) 284-5317, since the honorary doctor needs some real catechesis on the topic of PRO-LIFING.

Joe Hartgrooves deserves centuries off of his stay in purgatory for his completely spot on account of THE CRUSADES and why we were right to fight them and why Moslims are always wrong and always have been wrong and violent and murderers. Like Joe, I am sick and tired of people saying that Christians cannot condemn The Moslemistic Fascists because “Christians have been violent too.” Of course we have been violent too. Our God told us to do it. But our God is real, and their “god” is NOT REAL. That makes OUR violence OKAY and THEIR violence idolatrous murder. This is so elementary, so central to basic Catholic catechesis (unless you were catechized in post-1970 hippie dippie Catholycism), that I seriously can’t believe the Moslims DON’T GET IT.

Seriously, I just hope that through Joe’s courageous post many will check again world history, especially our Moslim brothers and sisters who are just dead wrong about this and about everything. It is a post that needs to be read in full by all in the mainstream media. I, for one, am sending it to that guy from the Daily Show in just a few minutes. I would love to see Joe tear the crap out of that whiny liberal pansy like the righteous and potentially violent CRUSADER that he is.

The fact is, the vicious Mosllims of those violent times had far, far more Christian and Jewish blood on their hands than all the Christians soldiers, militia members, KKK adherents, and abortion clinic bombers that have ever lived.

And by the way, I think it’s great that JP II refused to apologize for the Crusades. Why ask forgiveness for all my sins I committed 750 years ago! That was then. This is now. Plus, in reality we do not need to “apologize” for anything. We are Traditional Catholics.

So again I say, Yes! At last! Thank you, Joe Hartgrooves! I see that there are some liberal wussies who want to debate you. I say, in the words of our late, great former president, “BRING ‘EM ON.” I have set up an email address for you to handle all of the debate requests that will come your way so as not to clog your family’s email inbox: YESJOEHARTGROOVESIWILLDEBATEYOUPLEASEDONTHURTMETOOBAD@YAHOO.COM. I will send you the password here in a few minutes.

I truly believe that no Catholic could ever support that Obamacare obamanation. I blame the USCCB for not pointing this out. I know they said they could not support it when it built new abortion factories, but they also said they would support if it didn’t. By doing this they are betraying the principle of subsidiarity which says that nobody is owed anything by the government, and if you want to eat, you need to work, and if you want to go to the doctor, you pay for it. Subsidiarity says it has to be at the lowest level, and that nearly always means the individual. I don’t want to get all technical on y’all who never studied no theology, but there are some exceptions to that. For a woman, it means her father or husband makes the decision. Sometimes, as in mental retardation, somebody else needs to make the decision for you, as long as that person is not a liberal who wants to kill you. But most of the time, subsidiarity is all about individual responsibility. That’s why America is the only true Catholic nation on the planet.

Look what happens to the health care system when people don’t respect this. Look at Canada. They have a terrible system. You are not allowed to pay for your own health care. If you take out your wallet in a doctor’s office, he has to call the police. That’s the law. So what happens if you are sick? A government bureaucrat has to make a decision. You fill out a form with your symptoms and you hand it into a government welfare office. You will probably wait 8 hours to hand it in, that’s what Canadians tell me. Of course, it will probably take 3 months or more before that bureaucrat gets to the file, as he only works 4 hour days and takes every other day off, because he can’t be fired and lives like a king on taxpayer money. And when he gets your file, if you are lucky, he will put you on a waiting list and assign you a doctor. The waiting lists average about 2 years, but you might be able to get that shortened if you are willing to see a doctor in a different Canadian province. If the bureaucrat thinks that you are too old, or treating you would cost too much, he can put you on the death panel, and you have no right to appeal. Remember this when you read statistics. Canada counts people on death panels as people getting health care so you might think more Canadians get treatment than Americans. But this is death panels, yes sirree Bob. My guess is that one out of every 3 Canadians is death paneled.

What can Canadians do? They come to the land of the free and home of the brave, for the best health care system in the world. About 3 million Canadians cross the border every day for health care. That’s an educated guess based on the number of times I hear stories like this on Fox News, or read them in my small town paper. And the Obamassiah wants Americans to have the Canadian system of government controlled health care. And our bishops actually support this. Repeal this evil law now. If you support it, your soul is in danger. And yes, bishops, you’re in trouble too. Obviously you spend too much time in Rome hobnobbing with these filthy euro commies. Well, we’re Americans and we’re God’s people, and we’re not having it any more. Give me liberty or give me death, as long as it’s not a death panel.

I’m a Warrior Prince!

August 24, 2010

 

Warrior Prince Academy from Introspect.tv on Vimeo.

If loincloths aren’t your thing, this looks like a nice second-best.

JMJ,

Parker