FINALLY! A U.S. Catholic Church willing to promote the truth! Morning’s Mittens over at the apostate “blog” Vox Granola is good for SOMETHING at least… He lets us know that Newton Leroy “Newt” Gingrich, republiteaparty upcomer and shiny brand-new Roman Catholic, will be holding a book signing at the glorious Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception this weekend. Of course, Mittens is trying to get all three of his readers to call the Basilica to protest this appearance of that whom can only be the perfect, most utterly perfect, Catholic public figure we have ever did see. And of course, Mittens had absolutely no problem with the Kenyan baby-killer appearing at the University of Notre Shame to pick up his Catholyc seal-of-approval in the form of a Ph.D. degree!!

Yes, the guy has been an adulterer in his distant past. We get it. Yes, he was a sinner. But what the Catholyc liberal baby-killers don’t understand is that he is a repentant sinner. Sure, it took the flashy-flashy of a new shot at the presidency to make him change his disgusting sexual ways. But this is in fact a glorious AMERICAN TRADITION. Look at Ronald Reagan, the former pro-choice politician and Hollywood whore. Look at John McCain, former — and kinda current — pro-choicer and adulterer. This is the pattern, people. This is how GOD WORKS. His Holiness Gingrinch has come home to Holy Mother Church from the Baptists, just as God has planned it. That’s all that counts. His soul has been saved. He is on the right team. So what if he sometimes sounds a little racist? I mean, so what if he ACTUALLY IS racist?! Look at the facts. Gingrich is

1. a good Catholic,
2. is solidly pro-life,
3. is faithful to Benedict XVI: the Pope of Christian Unity
4. he follows the Catechism of the Catholic Church

That’s all there is to it, folks. I mean, why have we not had potential candidates like this before? It is actually very simply to be a good Catholic politician.

The rector of the Basilica Monsignor Walter Rossi should be COMMENDED and PRAISED and MADE A CARDINAL for what he is doing. Catholic Fascists everywhere should email their thanks to him directly at wrr@bnsic.org. Send a nice e-card or something, maybe. If you would like to phone your thanks to him, do so at 202-526-8300. Tell Rossi that you are pleased that Benedict’s Vicar to the United States (forget about that Latino ambassador dude who is probably PRO-CHOICE I forget his name what the heck is it) is being given this holiest of platforms.

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“Once more, there is absolutely nothing wrong with Embryonic Stem Cell Research.”

These are the direct words of the president of the Catholic Family and Human Rights Institute (C-FAM) and recipient of an honorary doctorate at Franciscan University in Steubenville, written in the comboxes of Catholyc blog “VOX NOVA.”

This man has no doubt done amazing things for the Unborn — including letting them know that George W. Bush is a fine Catholic man. And surely Franciscan U. had these amazing things in mind when they invited him to be their commencement speaker and when they gave him a doctorate in 2004.

But the sad thing is that in casual conversation, such as on blogs, even our most hallowed leaders can say things that make us question their pro-life credentials. I have no doubt that the good Doctor uddered these words because he was in the company of liberals and he wanted to appear “thoughtful” and “nuanced,” just “one of the girls.” The fact is, though, what he says is not TRUE nor is it even CORRECT. He apparently does not know the meaning of the Catholic term NON-NEGOTIABLE.

Sure, the Doctor tried to explain what he meant by this sentence further down the thread. But my post here proves that such explanations make no difference, as his words speak for themselves. This sentence can be taken entirely to mean exactly what it says, and for that reason we should be wary of pro-life leaders who misspeak in such a way. He could lead the faithful to be the non-faithful. This udderance brings scandal to the Catholic community, and should bring scandal to the Franciscan U. community as well.

We at THE CATHOLIC FASCIST join the chorus of conservative voices in the Catholic blogosphere as we call on Father Terrence Henry, TOR, president of Franciscan University to stand by his obvious Philadelphian pro-life commitments and revoke the honorary degree given to this questionable pro-life leader and to re-do the 2004 graduation replacing the “honored” “doctor” with Glenn Beck as commencement speaker. Franciscan’s untarnished reputation of ORTHODOXY is at stake here, lest it join the ranks of Notre Dame, Boston College, Georgetown and Yale as a BAD CATHOLIC UNIVERSITY OR COLLEGE.

Father Henry’s contact information does not appear to be listed on the university website. He could no doubt be found deep in prayer for Glenn Beck at the Christ the King Chapel. The phone number there is (740) 283-6276. Or try the Office of Catechetics at (740) 284-5317, since the honorary doctor needs some real catechesis on the topic of PRO-LIFING.